Transitional age
three or seven years
in three phases
First option
Second option
Transitional age - one of the most difficult psychological periods in a person's life, which has a significant impact on his development. This is a difficult critical moment, a bridge between childhood and adulthood. The transitional age crisis is often painful, difficult for both the youngster and his parents.
The main reason for the emergence of a transitional age crisis is puberty, which has an impact on the human psyche, on his emotional and physical state. Puberty forms in a teenager new needs and interests - sexual desire, which causes anxiety and feelings associated with the physical "I" of a person, and determines the symptoms corresponding to the crisis. The teenager begins to oppose himself to adults, trying to win a new position in life. The result of the transitional age crisis is the formation of a person's personality.
The adolescent crisis is the most famous of all age crises. While some parents may not know anything about crises of three or seven years, the parents of almost all adolescents await a crisis of adolescence with horror. Many of them try to create conditions in advance to prevent a crisis, but in most cases it turns out to be useless. During this period, adolescents, as it were, deliberately provoke and violate prohibitions, trying to push the boundaries of what is permissible. They often provoke conflicts with loved ones themselves, I appeal that adults do not want to understand them. Through these conflicts, adolescents get to know themselves, assert themselves.
Of course, this is a difficult period in the life of a teenager, but it is necessary to go through it for the further development and formation of the personality. If the transition is going smoothly , without the symptoms of a crisis, then in the future events can develop according to two scenarios. The crisis will happen anyway, but a little later, at the age of 17-18, and it will proceed painfully and violently. Another option: the person remains in the child's infantile position even in adulthood, i.e. the process of growing up as such does not occur. Parents should not be afraid of the transitional age crisis, as it is a natural process of personality development. Much worse if it doesn't come. As with other age-related crises, there are peak moments that need to be experienced. Of course, the transition period is a difficult time for both the teenager and his parents, but this is a period of personal isolation, gaining his own position and growing up.
The adolescent crisis is running in three phases... The first phase is negative, or pre-critical. At this time, the destruction of old habits and stereotypes takes place, many previously formed structures break down. The second phase represents the climax of the crisis. In terms of age, this is 13-14 years old, although the age is, of course, conditional, since everything depends on the individual development of the adolescent. The third phase is post-critical. During this period, the formation of new structures, new relationships, new views takes place.
The main feature of the transitional age is the adolescent's upholding of his independence and independence from adults. Very often this manifests itself in the complexity of behavior, pronounced stubbornness, negativism, increased conflict, open disobedience, defending one's own point of view on any issues. The adolescent shows increased conformity in relation to peers and demonstratively opposes himself to adults. He is trying to create the antipode of an obedient child. This behavior can continue for quite a long time and have a pronounced character; in some cases, the culmination phase of the crisis can go quite smoothly and calmly.
A transitional age crisis can follow two opposite scenarios.
First option - classic. It is accompanied by the traditional symptoms of any age crisis, such as obstinacy, stubbornness, self-will, negativism, disobedience and critical attitude to the requirements of parents and teachers, rebellion. During this period, a sense of ownership can be especially acute. Teenagers begin to be very jealous of their belongings, of their personal space. They strictly prohibit anyone from entering their room, touching personal belongings, becoming secretive and closed to communicate with their parents. The teenager is acutely experiencing changes in his inner world, a reassessment of values and sacredly protects his emerging, still very vulnerable personality from others.
Second option the development of the crisis is directly opposite to the first. The behavior of a teenager is characterized by excessive obedience, dependence on teachers and parents, and a return to previous interests.
The first variant of development is called the "crisis of independence", as its result is a big breakthrough in human development, going beyond the previous norms of life. The second option is the “crisis of dependence”. On the contrary, it brings the adolescent back to childhood, to the old system of relationships with adults, which gives a sense of security, support and comparative carelessness. Both options lead to self-determination of the adolescent, the choice of a life position at this stage of development. In the first case, this is the position: "I am no longer a child", in the second - "I am a child and I want to continue to be one."
The positive meaning of the crisis of adolescence is that through the struggle for his independence, which takes place in a safe, home environment, the adolescent asserts himself and learns his abilities and capabilities. A crisis allows a teenager to form a sense of self-confidence and teaches independence, qualities that, in later, adult life, will help him cope with the difficulties that arise on his way. Proceeding from this, the variant "crisis of independence" is the most constructive form of the course of the crisis for the formation of a healthy personality than the "crisis of dependence". However, the “crisis of independence” with extreme forms of manifestation is also considered unproductive.
The "addiction crisis", despite its calm course to the delight of the parents, is not a favorable option, since it does not lead the teenager to the proper development of his personality. The teenager remains in childhood, does not acquire adult independence and the ability to make independent decisions.
The transitional age is a difficult stage in a person's life, but parents should not adjust the entire adolescence to a crisis. Knowing the symptoms of a crisis that has begun will help parents detect it and help the teenager cope with it in time, realize the needs of this period, and develop effective ways to overcome the difficulties associated with the crisis. This is important for solving the main tasks of the development of this period.
Development Objectives for Adolescents
Teenage years - this is an important stage in the development of personality, a critical moment in a person's life. This is a kind of bridge from childhood to adulthood. The period is difficult, as drastic changes take place in the human body. They are mainly of a qualitative nature and affect almost all aspects of development. During this period, there is a fundamental restructuring in the nervous and endocrine systems of the body. All external manifestations of the crisis, such as inappropriate behavior, impulsiveness in committing actions, a sharp change in interests and hobbies, are a reflection of the inner world of a person. The main task of parents during this period is to help the teenager understand the causes and consequences of the changes taking place in him. There is no need to scare the teenager and be scared by yourself. Everything that happens is completely normal. Over time, a restructuring of the body will occur, and life will return to normal.
The peculiarities of adolescence include increased anxiety, anxiety, mood swings, and negativism. Often, adolescents are prone to aggression, often provoke conflict situations. During this period, a person has a particularly acute need for recognition and evaluation by others, and together they strive to show everyone their independence. This is a very controversial period. In a teenager, selfishness and devotion, rudeness and vulnerability, sensitivity to criticism and excessive self-confidence are simultaneously combined. The mood ranges from radiant optimism and readiness to move mountains to gloomy pessimism and disappointment in everything.
In adolescence, the development of cognitive processes is characterized by the transition to abstract thinking. At this age, it becomes easy for a child to move from the concrete to the abstract. He gladly begins to reason on abstract topics, to analyze. At this age, attention becomes more selective. The teenager begins to focus on those things that are really interesting to him. Feeling and perception are already at a fairly high level of development. At this age, the active development of creative abilities begins. Of course, if a child is inclined to drawing or music, then these abilities will appear much earlier, but in adolescence, an individual style of activity is formed. In adolescence, there is also a leap in the intellectual development of the child.
The crisis of adolescence leads to changes in the motivational sphere, both quantitative and qualitative. Motives are becoming more stable, and in this regard, many interests take the form of persistent passion, hobby. If at an earlier age motives arose impulsively, now they are formed on the basis of a clearly set goal.
The main task of adolescence - the transition to adulthood, both physiologically and socially. One of the most important acquisitions that the transitional age crisis entails is the formation of a sense of personal identity. Identity is bodily, ideological, moral, professional, and sexual. Seeking his own identity, a teenager seeks to isolate himself from his parents, to gain autonomy. To identify himself as an adult, a teenager needs to go through emotional emancipation, to free himself from childhood emotional relationships. To enter adulthood, a person must develop intellectual independence. He must learn to think independently and critically, as well as make independent decisions on any issues. Another indicator of adulthood is behavioral autonomy. She manifests herself in a variety of areas of life. This is also the choice of clothing style. and preferences for spending free time, and a close social circle, and, finally, the choice of a professional field of activity.
In adolescence, communication with peers comes to the fore. Friends become the most important people in a teen's life. Communicating in their circle, adolescents share with each other that information, those experiences that they cannot get from adults. Through communication with each other, young people learn to interact socially. In addition, through communication, the need for emotional contacts that has increased during this period is satisfied.
The central place in the psychophysical process of the transition period is occupied by adolescent puberty. It is based on hormonal changes, which in turn lead to changes in physique, behavior in society, interests and self-awareness. In adolescence, the secretion of sex hormones increases, which explains youthful hypersexuality, manifested in increased sexual excitability, erotic fantasies, frequent erections in boys, and the need for masturbation.
Teenagers very often, when communicating with each other, raise a sexual topic, and most of their conversations are rather rude and cynical. Adults, having accidentally heard such conversations, begin to worry about the moral character of my children. But it must be borne in mind that such conversations between adolescents allow them to relieve sexual tension and partly defuse it with laughter. Adults also use this technique quite often, for example, in jokes on a sexual topic, so it should not be surprising that even pistils and stamens cause sexual associations in adolescents.
Teenage masturbation is one of the earliest manifestations of sexuality. It helps to release sexual tension, which is caused by a number of physiological reasons. In addition, masturbation is triggered by some mental factors: imitation of peers, testing your own potency, getting pleasure. Most boys have their first ejaculation during masturbation. It has been established that the earlier puberty occurs, the more likely a teenager is to masturbate.
Often teenage masturbation causes anxiety and anxiety in parents. However, you should not worry about this, since this is a massive phenomenon. You should not worry about its intensity either, since this is due only to the sexual constitution of the teenager himself. You should only sound the alarm when it becomes an obsession and has a detrimental effect on your teen's behavior and well-being. But in this case, masturbation is only a consequence of poor social adaptation, and in no way its cause.
The most difficult psychological problem of adolescent sexual development is the formation of sexual orientation, a system of erotic preferences. Three options are possible here:
1) sexual attraction to members of the opposite sex - heterosexuality;
2) sexual attraction to members of the same sex - homosexuality;
3) sexual attraction to both sexes - bisexuality.
It is believed that many adolescents are seduced by adults. This is not the case, although there are such cases. Most sexual intercourse takes place between peers.
Very often, parents or teachers, faced with unusual manifestations of adolescent sexuality, do not know how to act in such a situation. The problem is really difficult, as it requires special knowledge and tact. In most cases, sexual orientation is not the result of free choice. Changing it is very difficult, and often even impossible. This obliges adults to be, first of all, humane towards adolescents, because the problems of the person himself are behind sexual problems. Acts of coercion and violence must not be allowed, and human dignity must not be humiliated. Many adolescents, in search of their orientation, go through sexual experiences with members of the same gender, and then in adulthood they choose heterosexual orientation. Labeling, threats, and intimidation can be highly pathogenic and more harmful in this situation than the sexual experience.
Transitional age - this is one of the most difficult periods of life, both for a teenager and for his parents. What advice can you give to parents? Have some patience and don't push.
First advice. Do not try to solve problems by categorical prohibitions, scandals and lecturing your teenager. This is the age when the parental "no" causes an inner protest in the child. Even if a teenager himself realizes the inadequacy of his actions, he still continues to bend his own, just to spite his parents. Accept the fact that your child has grown up. Perceive him as a person, albeit not fully formed, but he has the right to his own point of view, to his own opinion, to his own desires. A teenager can already make decisions concerning his life, so the call to obey his parents is no longer relevant. If you are going to talk to a teenager, discuss problems that concern you, then talk to him as an equal. Don't try to teach him about life - it's a waste of time. He will do it his own way anyway. You just have to unobtrusively direct it in the right direction. And the key word here is unobtrusive.
Second advice. Always take your child's problems with full seriousness, even if they seem irrelevant, childish, and far-fetched to you. It is enough to brush off a teenager once, and he will stop sharing with you, trusting you with his problems and experiences, and any of your participation will be hostile. The worst thing here is if the child completely stops communicating with you, closes in his world. In this case, it is better to seek help from specialists - of course, together with the child.
Third advice. Do not impose on your child your opinion about how he should spend his free time. It is clear that you would be more satisfied if the teenager was involved in music or sports, and not strolling through the streets with friends. But remember: even if you manage to get the child to do something he hates, he will still find a way to avoid it. You will be wasting your money and nerves. In addition, the child will begin to negatively relate not only to the forced hobby, but also to you as an initiator. If you still want to keep your child busy, try to unobtrusively find out what he himself would like to do. Surely you can find something that will appeal to both him and you.
Remember that it is almost impossible to ban something for a teenager. Teenagers feel like adults, they want those around them to be considered as such, so they strive to get rid of parental care by any possible means. And the more you push, the more resistance you will receive in return.
What if you start to notice that the smell of tobacco and alcohol has begun to smell from a child returning from the street? First things first, calm down and don't make a scandal. Everyone knows that the forbidden fruit is sweet. No matter how you forbid, the teenager will still find a way to satisfy his curiosity, in a pinch, your pressure will push him to run away from home. Of course, it is necessary to conduct a preventive conversation, but one must act calmly. Prepare for the conversation in advance, think carefully about the arguments that you will give. You do not need to draw all the circles of hell in front of the teenager, but you need to make him think, reflect. as a result, independently draw conclusions about that. what is good and what is bad. Never use threats. Talk to your teenager as an adult, on an equal footing. Explain to him. why you don't want him to come home late, to smoke, to quit studying. If you notice that your child has started smoking, do not throw a tantrum about it. Provide him with information about the consequences of this bad habit. But it must be borne in mind that the possibility of someday dying of lung cancer is unlikely to stop it. Treat with the consequences that threaten him at present, for example, bad breath and bad breath from clothes, yellowed teeth. The conversation should be conducted in a calm, even tone, without preaching. Just an exchange of information at the level of adult communication.
Do not press on the child, but do not indulge either. Despite his adulthood and relationship "on an equal footing", he must observe a certain chain of command and have respect for his parents.
For some reason, it is generally accepted that transitional age occurs only in boys and girls. But in fact, transitional age occurs not only in children and adolescents, but also in quite adult men and women. True, most often this "adult transitional age" is called "midlife crisis" or simply "age crisis". The women's magazine site ForLove.com.ua offers in this article to get acquainted with the psychology of the transitional age of boys and girls, as well as adult men and women.
Note that the basis for writing this article is the materials of the famous, outstanding Russian doctor-psychotherapist Andrei Kurpatov from the book "7 unique recipes to BEAT FATIGUE".
It is wrong to assume that transitional age occurs only in adolescence: the doctors themselves admit that a child, growing up, experiences up to 18 years of age, until his majority, at least 6-7 dangerous, psychologically critical for the psyche and health of a child of transitional ages.
And dry forensic statistics sadly state the fact that the greatest number of suicides occurs in adult women and men aged 20 to 60 years. Therefore, modern psychologists and psychotherapists are more than sure that a person's transitional age does not end after the onset of 18 years ... - it is just beginning.
It is another matter that among the people among themselves the transitional ages of adult men and women are usually called an age crisis - most often a midlife crisis. Although psychological crises occur among young people under 30 and old people after 50 ... Therefore, in this article, the women's site ForLove.com.ua will tell you about the classification of all crises in the age of women and men, and will also give a short but capacious description of all this. "Transitional ages" of the adult population.
So, let's first find out what is the transitional age ("age crisis")? The transitional age is a period of time during which a person undergoes changes in the body simultaneously with a change in social relations, a restructuring of relations with people.
Thus, any crisis in the age of a woman and a man, any transitional age of a boy and a girl is accompanied by a complex emotional state, caused mainly by unpleasant changes in relationships with dear or significant people, occurring against the background of physical ailments, diseases, stress, chronic fatigue and neurasthenia, hormonal and other changes in the body.
The transitional age of a person is when "I found a scythe on a stone" - when a person's psyche suffers, changes and rebuilds along with his body. And as the great classic A.S. Pushkin "There is no worse time than the time of changes."
"CLASSIFICATION OF TRANSITIONAL AGES AND AGE CRISES FOR MEN AND WOMEN"
1. PERIOD FROM 18 YEARS UP TO 21 YEARS - THE FIRST AGE CRISIS OF A MAN AND A WOMAN
The body of young men and women grows and develops until the age of 21-22, while the development of muscles and other parts of the body occurs against the background of important social changes. Not everything, of course, but many guys and girls still lose their virginity during this period, experience serious hormonal and psychological changes against the background of transformation into men and women.
Further - more: admission or non-admission to a university, the army, graduation from a university, marriage, having children, the need to get a first job, settle down in their own housing, learn to get along with people at work and earn money ... A rather difficult and stressful period for young people , which is in a state of "plumage" and search for its "I".
2.30 years, thirties - THE SECOND AGE CRISIS OF A MAN AND A WOMAN
Some young men and women start to go crazy even earlier - from the age of 25 they worry about their abilities and ability to settle in life. But 30 years is a real Rubicon for psychology, far from boys and not girls, but adults and self-sufficient men and women.
30 is the second age crisis, the second major transitional age for an adult. Its complexity lies in the fact that a person who has achieved success begins to intensely worry about possible troubles - dismissal from a prestigious job or a conflict with superiors, loss of property, divorce from a spouse, illness of children ...
At the age of 30, women and men understand that they are the support of the family, that they have no right to let this family down. And this is such a terrible responsibility ...
Women realize that they are no longer young and beautiful girls, that they have a lot of young competitors, and they begin to have complexes about their appearance. And men, men begin to compare themselves with young stallions, and this comparison is not always advantageous for a 30-year-old man with a beer belly.
And if a person has not yet managed to achieve anything in life, self-actualize before the age of 30, then pack the samovars: life is over, I am a loser, I don’t want to live ... In both cases, the person’s fears and fears drive him into the deepest stress, then - into depression, and then to neglected neurasthenia with all that it implies - a stone's throw.
3.40 years old or Balzac age - THE THIRD AGE CRISIS OF A MAN AND A WOMAN
At about 40 years old, children grow up, stand on their own wing and fly away from their parent's nest. And their parents are waiting right there for the famous midlife crisis or the third transitional age of adult women and men.
The problem of the midlife crisis is that at the age of 40 people begin to feel that they are "unnecessary" and "restless." Those violent desires that worried the blood in their young years are no longer or almost no longer: women and men of the age are no longer particularly attracted to discos, sexual entertainment, traveling ... Desires fade away and lose their former pleasant acuteness.
By the age of 40, many women have already successfully forgotten how to take care of themselves and their appearance, and it is necessary to spend their free time somewhere and on someone. The husband is already tired of the worst, for whom to live, for whom to try? Divorced women worry about their lack of demand.
And the psychology of men going through a midlife crisis is as follows: I've already lost almost all of my friends, and they're not friends at all, I don't really want sex, except perhaps on the side, secretly from my wife, the meaning of life has been lost, there are already more prospects at the same job no, for whom did you live, for whom did you pull and try? Unclear.
And against the background of this "Unclear", against the background of the loss of the meaning of life in women and men, the same psychological stress gradually develops in a spiral, then depression, fatigue, dissatisfaction with life, neurasthenia, going to hospitals and looking for non-existent, far-fetched diseases ...
4. CLIMAX - THE FOURTH AGE CRISIS OF MEN AND WOMEN
With the onset of menopause, many women celebrate a magnificent funeral in their irretrievably gone youth, dress their souls in mourning, instead of rejoicing in the joys of sexual life that have become available without consequences. Women begin to feast on themselves and their bodies that he lost ground so quickly, let down that everything, life is over ... And again the swan song of the crisis of age went on an increasing spiral.
And men, men also experience a kind of climax at the age of 50, because they are acutely experiencing the loss of their former sexual attractiveness, they note with horror the fact that young girls have already begun to give up seats in the bus ... In general, the male midlife crisis is resuming, but already according to the updated program.
By the way, a note to housewives: in some African countries, the onset of menopause in women is considered a great holiday, because now a woman can have as much sex as she wants, and there will be no more diseases).
5.60 YEARS, END OF A PERIOD - THE FIFTH AGE CRISIS OF A MAN AND A WOMAN
Those men and women who live up to 60 years of age are acutely experiencing their sudden aging, the final loss of beauty and youth, elasticity of the skin and muscles, which become flabby and not very beautiful. In addition, by the fifth stage of the age crisis, many people who have already become elderly, out of nowhere, appear a bunch of sores, general chronic malaise, deafness, eyesight falls badly, teeth fall out, hair whitens ...
At the age of 60, modern elderly men and women put on themselves a fat, full-fledged cross, put up with the fact that they are already being addressed as grandparents, and enroll themselves in the ranks of the elderly. At the same time, in the soul, all these physical, bodily changes are experienced by the newly-born old and old women very acutely and painfully. But there is no one to help them in this transition period, and there is no one for anything, unlike Western pensioners who have personal psychotherapists.
6.70 and older - LAST AGE CRISIS FOR MEN AND WOMEN
After old age has fully come into its own, aged and haggard, elderly women and men begin to selflessly devote their lives to one or all three hackneyed scenarios of old age:
1) looking for salvation ... in diseases. In fact, many old women and old people use their sores and malaise as a way to attract the attention of their grown children and compassionate neighbors. And visiting doctors, wandering around clinics and charlatans is a great way to get rid of the stifling energy that has nowhere to go, and at the same time - a unique opportunity to talk to at least someone. In old age, people feel very acutely their loneliness and are ready to go to almost anything, just to be with someone, just not alone with themselves.
2) they live with memories of the past ... There is a category of people who, in their youth, live exclusively with dreams of a bright future, and after the onset of old age - with memories of the past. But you have forgotten to really live here, today and now, is it so?
3) live the life of another person ... Such elderly women and men usually throw all their strength on their grandchildren and granddaughters, take care of them in every possible way, filling the void, a hole in their own lives. Only those whose lives the old people try to live, filling the void in their own, rarely feel grateful.
Thus, the transitional age for men and women does not end with the onset of 18 years. It's just that such transitional ages in our society are usually called an age crisis, in particular, a midlife crisis. What is the moral of this article? Life is one big change, a permanent crisis - a permanent transitional age - a transition from one level to the next, this is a constant change in our life path, and the main secret of life is to be able to live and enjoy life here, today and now no matter what, without glimpses of the past and empty dreams of the future.
This is also a very crucial period. Yesterday's schoolchildren and students face the choice of a profession. For the first time in their lives, they get a job, join a new, completely unfamiliar team. They have to adapt to this team, learn to get along. They earn their first money of their own, learn to plan expenses. Many are getting married or getting married, which implies an even greater degree of responsibility.
30-35 years old
By this age, one can already see what he achieved or did not achieve in the profession. If in career growth everything goes according to plan, there is a fear of losing everything. The slightest conflict with the team or with the boss can lead to a nervous breakdown. "If I lose this job, who will feed my family?" This fear of losing everything is the greatest during this period of life. Or, suddenly, a person begins to think that his work does not bring him pleasure. Or by the time he was 30, he could not achieve the goals that he initially set for himself. With these thoughts and fears, a person lives in constant stress, which can lead to depression.
40 years
The Balzac age is about 40 years old. Sounds beautiful, however, these words hide the next period of crisis behind them. It's called "Midlife Crisis". In life, it seems, everything is stable, the children have grown up, you no longer need to worry about how to bring them up, and how to provide them with a decent education. But this is precisely the reason. People in their forties, still full of energy, begin to feel unnecessary. After all, the children left the parental home. Parties, travel, stag and hen parties do not bring the former excitement and do not excite the blood. It seems that the meaning of life has been lost.
Women, thinking that they are no longer so young and beautiful, begin to look for flaws in their appearance. They stop caring for themselves. Men compare themselves with young people 20-25 years old, and this comparison is not always in favor of 40 years old. There are almost no friends left, everyone has their own affairs and concerns. I got used to my wife, intimacy with her is not as pleasing as before. At work, too, no prospects. What to live for?
50 years
50th anniversary for many it sounds like a sentence. Almost all women during this period are experiencing the height of menopause. In our society, it is believed that with the onset of menopause, old age comes. Men suddenly notice that they have turned gray, bald, recovered, stooped, etc. Both of them begin to run around hospitals, looking for diseases.
Your child stops being young, trying on this feeling of being an adult. Many of the parents are afraid of the onset of this transitional period, often remembering themselves at this age and believing that after the child grows up, problems cannot be avoided. The transitional age is a difficult time, but not only for parents, but also for the children themselves. What is happening in this difficult, difficult time, how to understand the psychology of a teenager?
What it is
Transitional age, or adolescence, is the period of human development in the process of transition from childhood to adolescence. Adolescence lasts from 10-11 to 15 years. This transitional period, also called pubertal, is one of the critical ones, since at this age there is not only rapid growth and puberty of the youngster, but also cardinal changes in the sphere of consciousness, in the system of relationships. Detailed information about this is in the textbooks on social studies.
Adolescence begins with puberty - the production of hormones that stimulate the development of the reproductive system, brain, muscles, bones and skin. This age is characterized by a "growing up feeling", the development of self-esteem and self-awareness. At the transitional stage of ontogenesis, an interest in oneself as a person develops. If the conditions for the realization of opportunities, individualization are absent, the self-realization of a crisis-age teenager can take an unfavorable form.
Signs of transitional age:
During puberty, at about 10 years old, a person begins to grow actively - up to 10 centimeters per year. Girls stop growing by the age of 16-18, and boys can continue to stretch until the age of 22. External signs of the beginning of the transition period are considered to be the growth of testicles in boys, breasts in girls, in both sexes, hair growth in the armpits and in the groin.
Girls grow physically faster than boys, but physical changes are not the only sign that your child is in transition. Among the changes - and changes in character. An affectionate, obedient child of this age can become rude, categorical and touchy. It is best to consider the signs of growing up in more detail in representatives of different sexes separately.
Boys have:
Knowing parents about what happens to their son during the transition period will help them and the boy cope with this difficult burden of a difficult age called transition. The signs of growing up in boys are divided into three main groups - physical, emotional and sexual. All of them are interconnected, one follows from the other under the influence of the production of testosterone - a hormone with the help of which a boy gradually turns into a man. What are the main signs of this transformation?
- The musculature begins to develop dramatically.
- The shoulders widen.
- In the armpits, on the face and in the groin, hair begins to grow, at this age it is still vellus.
- Voice breaks.
- Acne appears on the back and face.
- The smell of sweat becomes more intense.
- Mood swings appear, characteristic of this age, aggressiveness, absent-mindedness and inattention, maximalism.
- The genitals are actively developing, sexual attraction appears.
- Possibly nighttime uncontrolled ejaculation - the so-called wet dreams, which will subside with age.
For girls:
In girls, adolescence begins during an increase in the production of sex hormones, by about 10-11 years. The girl's reproductive organs are beginning to change, preparing for motherhood. The hormonal surge inherent in the transitional stage leads to an imbalance in the nervous, endocrine and vegetative-vascular systems. The first signs of a girl's growing up appear:
- The pelvic bones expand, the buttocks and thighs are rounded.
- By the age of 10, pigmentation around the nipples becomes pronounced. The nipples themselves swell and protrude.
- By the age of 11, the mammary glands are already developing more noticeably, the armpit and pubis area is covered with hair. At the same age, menstruation may begin. Someone has it earlier, someone later. Upon reaching the age of 16, the cycle should stabilize, becoming regular.
- Due to the increase in body weight characteristic of the transitional period, girls may experience depression and a sharp restriction in their diet. Therefore, carefully monitor how your daughter eats so that restrictions do not lead her to a serious mental illness - anorexia.
Why adolescence is called transitional
The transitional age represents the transition to adulthood from childhood, from which it got its name. The transition period in ontogenesis (human development) is largely associated with the crisis of adolescence. In this transitional period of personality formation, the child becomes "difficult" - instability of the psyche and behavior, inadequacy are characteristic of him.
Human development at a transitional stage undergoes a qualitative restructuring, puberty occurs. A person is growing vigorously - and, in this period, the growth of the skeleton proceeds faster than the muscle mass. The cardiovascular system is actively developing. In the process of restructuring, a young man may just experience depression, anxiety, and other signs.
Problems and difficulties in adolescents
The difficulties of the transition period are often associated with active hormonal changes in the body. Due to the sharp surge in hormones, frequent mood swings occur. This age is characterized by depression or aggression, anxiety or withdrawal. Often, a teenager becomes simply unbearable, causing a lot of problems not only to parents, but also to himself.
A growing body needs personal space - it wants to be independent, strives to get out of parental control. Against this background, a conflict often arises between parents and children. It is better to allow your growing up child to be alone with yourself, not to creep into his soul. If the teenager thinks that you should be trusted, he will tell you what he sees fit himself.
Difficulties also appear when a guy or a girl enters any collective, where a kind of struggle for leadership takes place. In the company of people with similar problems, a complex nature rarely equality. The same desire for leadership can push you to rash actions - for example, to become attached to a bad company, and as a result - to become addicted to drinking, cigarette hooliganism, and sometimes even drug addiction.
It is hard for an outcast among peers, such an exile closes in, becomes uncommunicative, experiences stress and a feeling of humiliation or self-deprecation in the company of peers. In this case, parents need to help their child adapt in society in order to avoid serious psychological problems in the future.
The problem of appearance is of great importance for a growing boy or girl. This is especially difficult for girls - after all, all the attention goes to the beautiful, bright and self-confident. Plus, teenage acne, oily skin and other attributes of adolescence appear. Therefore, the first task of parents in this direction is to teach a son or daughter to take care of themselves, their appearance, instill good taste in clothes, develop a sense of self-confidence, which they will later need in any period of their lives.
Problems also arise against the background of unrequited love. First love, moreover, fueled by various TV shows, is often very strong, and failure, coupled with the increased emotionality of a teenager and the tendency of this age to paint all life moments with bright colors, can undermine mental health. It is best if parents explain to their children in love that the best is sure to await them ahead, failures are quite experienced, and with age they will perceive their feelings differently.
Types of adolescent depression
Depression is difficult to recognize because the behavior of young children of this age is often caused not by negative emotions, but by mood swings caused by the process of puberty. But persistent bad moods, poor school performance, and some other manifestations of a difficult age can indicate depression. It should be borne in mind that this is a disease, and it is not a type of mood, but a mental disorder. In general, there are several types of depression:
Classic depression. During this period, young people often feel sadness, depression, anxiety. A person ceases to experience pleasure in the things he is used to. Favorite movies, photos, food cause a fit of irritability. Symptoms of classic depression in adolescents include slowness of movement and thinking, external lack of will.
Neurotic depression. This type of depression, sometimes inherent in adolescence, occurs as a result of a long-term situation that traumatizes the psyche. The disease begins with a decrease in mood, tearfulness and a feeling of unfair treatment of oneself. Symptoms of neurotic depression can be problems with falling asleep, anxious waking up, weakness, morning headaches, low blood pressure.
Psychogenic depression. It develops with the loss of values that are vital for a teenager (and not only). This can be the death of loved ones, a break in relations. Psychogenic depression can develop in a short time. Its signs include internal tension, anxiety for fate, melancholy and lethargy, complaints about their inferiority. When such symptoms appear, you must immediately pay attention to the guy or girl, and take them to a psychologist, until they consider suicide the best way out of the situation.
Features of contact with a teenager
When a child reaches adolescence, all the requirements for him are conditionally divided into three groups: not discussed (for example, the time to return home), discussed (planning free time) and accepted by him independently. These groups are subject to prior discussion.
Uniform requirements in the family for the growing up child are of considerable importance. The young man himself is more hungry for rights than strives for responsibilities. If the younger generation realizes that too much is expected of him, they will try to evade responsibilities. Therefore, it is necessary to give serious arguments to all the requirements - a simple imposition on a teenager at the stage of personality formation may not work.
It is worth considering that quite often the maturing generation commits its actions under the influence of momentary emotions characteristic of the transitional period. Therefore, you should not conduct a conversation, discuss the behavior of a teenager or words when you see that your child is excited, irritated or upset. In addition, you should take into account the unstable state of the psyche, at this stage, do not find fault with much. The adolescent's sense of adulthood requires a special attitude. Feelings of importance and independence in this difficult age are very important to support in different ways.
Allow the child to understand the objects of his affection or love and make decisions in this direction for himself, even though this is still not quite an adult age. And do not forget that even if a teenager needs help from his parents, at the same time he is trying to protect his own world from invasion, and has the right to do so. Try not to control his behavior and treat your child with respect, at the same time, indirectly influencing his actions.
But it is not always worth paying attention to the opposition inherent in this period - a teenager still needs support from adults. It is best if the adult acts as a friend. Thus, you will make it easier for the child to find himself in self-discovery. With this interaction, it becomes possible to create deep spiritual contact.
How to survive a crisis
- Take good care of your child's development. Do not miss the first, even faint signs of his entry into adolescence.
- Take seriously the fact that any person develops at an individual pace that does not always correspond to a specific age. You shouldn't think of a growing up youngster as a small child. But do not try to make the child a teenager before he is ready for it, even if his age as such is considered transitional.
- Take seriously all the statements of your child, no matter how silly they may seem.
- Give the maturing body maximum independence - as much as it can withstand for its age. Try to consult with children on any occasion - even the most trivial. They should feel like you, an equal member of the family.
- What you want to achieve from your daughter or son, do it yourself - for example, always call if you are late.
- Try to correct earlier mistakes in parenting. At this age, all mistakes tend to creep out.
- Show an interest in anything that matters to your son or daughter. In a transitional age, rich in surprises, they have a reassessment of interests and values, and it is better if you are directly involved in this process.
- Use rewards, discuss rules. But some things, especially regarding safety, at any age, and especially in transition, must be observed unquestioningly.
To make such a difficult and difficult transition period for your child more painless, both for him and for you, you can seek help from a psychologist. True, few teenagers will go for it, considering that there is no problem as such. For help, you can read a book on adolescent psychology or watch a video.
The transitional age is a special period in a person's life. It manifests itself with certain symptoms that parents should respond to correctly. Children change their behavior dramatically and are difficult to manage. However, this stage, although difficult, can be overcome without too many problems.
There are techniques that allow you to establish normal relationships with children. Some parents may find it helpful to read relevant literature to avoid the consequences of interacting with their child. Indeed, it is at this age that there are a lot of deaths, when the little person could not find support from his parents and cope with his own experiences. Many people run away from home trying to find support on the street. They become frustrated over time, but there may be no turning back.
What is adolescence? Its other name is puberty. For a child, not only the sensations of life and himself as an element of the entire system change, his body is being transformed. Why is adolescence called transitional? At this time, there is a transition of each person into adulthood from a nursery. Everything changes: attitude towards parents, towards life, towards the future.
How long does the adolescent age last? Its duration can be approximately 4 years. Now children are growing up earlier, therefore, the transition period can be reduced by 2 times, but this is all individual. How old does the transitional age begin? From 12 years old and ends at 16. In each individual case, this time period can vary in any direction.
The stage in question is notable for its complexity, a certain drama for some adolescents. The adolescent age is associated with difficulties due to a number of reasons. The most significant factor is. Teens tend to be highly sensitive to how others assess their appearance. At the same time, they show independence, firmness of opinion, which is expressed about other people.
When the transitional age comes, children can simultaneously observe callousness, attentiveness, painful shyness. There is a need to assess persons who are authoritative for him. They want to be recognized, they behave quite cheekily in many situations. The deification of the idol is characteristic at this stage. They strive in every possible way to demonstrate their own independence, to fight against the established rules, and oppose the authorities.
This stage is manifested by the fact that adolescents are often not satisfied with their own appearance, dissatisfaction appears in their own body. The child may have embarrassment about the body, he is embarrassed to show it openly. Often, children do not want to be photographed, although they previously liked this activity.
All this can manifest itself due to the ongoing transformations at the hormonal level. In the body, the restructuring of absolutely all systems and internal organs should begin. Throughout the entire time, there is a need for a material that is the basis for the construction of fabrics. Because of this, there is a need for abundant nutrition, but there are swings in appetite.
Other reasons
The characteristics of the transitional age indicate that adolescents who have reached 13-14 years old, there are certain alternations of bursts of active periods. The child can be vigorous, but after a short period of time he becomes tired or completely exhausted. The period of adolescence is characterized by the syndrome of adolescent laziness. At the same time, parents describe this so-called syndrome by the fact that the child is lazy to do anything and reveals a desire to lie down, sit, or does not want to stand upright (relies on various objects).
Experts associate these features of the transitional age with increased growth, therefore, he spends a lot of strength and energy to perform certain actions. All this is reflected in the fact that the child's endurance is significantly reduced. The manifested effect of the syndrome is reflected in the general condition and behavior of the child.
So, a teenager has a certain awkwardness, which leads to various breakdowns and damage to objects. These difficulties of adolescence may give the impression that the adolescent is acting on purpose, but this is not the case. All negative manifestations occur regardless of the child, they are caused by the restructuring of the motor system.
Coping with the changes in question is difficult, but over time, a teenager becomes an adult. For the process to be realized, large physical costs are required. If you pay attention to the psychological aspect, then it is quite difficult for a child to live at this moment in time.
The transitional age in certain cases proceeds with difficulties that are associated with a reluctance to grow up. It is in his subconsciousness that he will lose his usual state, so discomfort arises.
About the possible behavior of a teenager
Signs of adolescence are observed in the behavior of a teenager. Quite often, it changes very much and becomes defiant. These changes are manifested in rudeness. He does not allow adults to approach him, does not want to share personal. In addition, his mood often changes, he also does not allow his parent to be close to him, for example, does not allow himself to be hugged. Psychologists compare this behavior with a hedgehog that repels others and all the time.
Late transitional age is even more difficult. It is not uncommon for a child to refuse to clean their own room. Parents can observe a complete mess there, which does not bother the teenager at all. He also does not want to hear about household duties, it is very difficult to make them do it.
Symptoms of adolescence are also observed in the fact that a son or daughter is trying to anger their parents, which can ultimately lead to a scandal. At the same time, the teenager may not worry about this at all.
The transitional age crisis in adolescents sometimes negatively affects the condition of the parents, since all this time they feel a kind of confusion and cannot understand what actions to take. This whole process is painful for both parents and children, but all these symptoms can be overcome if you approach this behavior correctly.
If the transitional age has approached, what to do? Parents should react wisely to this behavior. A teenager, with his extraordinary behavior, is trying to develop his own approach to certain ongoing events.
The crisis of this age makes it clear that the teenager is under pressure from various parties: parents, school and peers. Therefore, he tries to start living his own life without outside help. Psychology focuses on the fact that a teenager is trying to tell others about his existence. However, the problems of adolescence here begin to develop due to the fact that the child does not yet have goals in life, emotional stability is also not observed.
On the development of the personality of a teenager
How to cope with adolescence? In this case, psychology comes to the rescue. This science focuses on the fact that a teenager in this difficult period for him becomes a person. Therefore, no reproaches, humiliations or similar actions can be resorted to.
How can you help a teenager during this period? First of all, you need to try to keep him busy. But at the same time, one must remember that the child must be perceived as a person.
How long does the adolescent age last? For each teenager, this time can last in different ways, but all the signs are almost the same: this is the desire for maximum independence and refusal to accept problem situations.
When adolescence begins, adolescents have a pronounced sense of over-adulthood. At the same time, psychology notes that he has a new level of claims, which does not coincide with the actual state. The transitional age, the peculiarities of contact with adolescents must be taken into account. It is extremely important for a child that his growing up is noted by his parents and those around him. However, if the behavior does not satisfy adults, conflicts arise.
How to cope with adolescence? It is very important for a teenager that he receives and feels the support of loved ones all this time. But at the same time, the child can in every possible way refuse to care and other manifestations of support.
What is this - correct parenting behavior? This is building trusting relationships with loved ones. This process should be based on support, approval. The length of the transitional age will be determined by how well the parents behave.
You need to be prepared for the fact that the teenager will protest in every possible way, and he will not have enough adult advice. Communication will be accepted properly only in those cases when he understands that he has equal rights with adults. The transitional age ends when a parent has a constructive conversation with his son / daughter. At the same time, you do not need to be rude, shout, etc. You just need to show in every possible way that the child is understood. You need to share with him your own thoughts, experiences, etc.
When adolescence ends, the child already acquires the ability to think independently and understand various life situations. Interest in the life of a child should not be artificial or feigned. All his actions must be monitored and negative actions must be prohibited.
additional information
Regardless of how many years the transitional age began, it is recommended to use a certain developed technology to extinguish the emerging conflict between adolescents and adults. Not many parents know that in the process of quarrels with a teenager, one should not insult or accuse him of anything. It is recommended to express your attitude towards the child, and only positive. This process should be called building trust.
In the first year of adolescence and thereafter, it is necessary to build a dialogue with the child as correctly as possible. For example, you need to focus on the fact that rude behavior has a negative effect on adults, etc. At the same time, you need to be prepared for a sharp response from the child, for example, that he does not care. But this is just a mask, and sooner or later this behavior must end. The teenager will definitely remember these words and draw conclusions for himself.
A new period should begin in the child's life, and he should not be backed up by any insults or other negative emotions, since these are all mistakes. Allowing them, parents cause only aggression in their child. But all this passes over time, and as a result, the teenager only has positive impressions of parental support. Expressing their own feelings and feelings to the child, it will be possible to avoid conflict.