Mental pain isn't just about emotional distress. It directly affects health and fate. How to get rid of mental pain if memories and feelings take hold, and there is no strength to cope with them? Now we are going to learn how to do it.
What is mental pain and why does it happen?
Mental pain is an emotional feeling that arises from unpleasant events. Its strength depends not so much on the situation itself as on the attitude towards this situation. For example, when a loved one dies, we get a lot of mental pain. But there are countries where at funerals they rejoice that a person's soul has passed to another world.
Such analogs can lead to any unpleasant events, be it betrayal, meanness or treason. Any situation can be treated differently.
We all have certain programs and rules that we live by and we react to events in accordance with our guidelines.
One of the main causes of mental pain is human selfishness. Take betrayal for example. People generally do not feel a connection with the Universe, with God, they do not see the general picture of their fate and do not understand that any pain teaches something. Instead of understanding why this happened and what lessons need to be learned, anger or some other emotion appears, which is deposited in a person as mental pain.
If mental pain is not worked out, then depression may begin, various diseases appear, a person will become less successful and happy. These pains need to be removed.
The practice of getting rid of pain in the soul
Relax, close your eyes and remember one of the most intense mental pains. We recall this situation so that you have a visual picture. We mentally place it on the left in front of the inner screen.
We do the following actions slowly, with feelings and full attention. Now you mentally take a picture of an unpleasant event out of your head and turn it into white light. This way you get it out of your head.
To squeeze this situation out of the body, you need to make a sharp exhalation and mentally imagine how this unpleasant situation comes out of you with the exhalation. You can breathe out several times or much more until you feel relief. The sharper and stronger the exhalation, the better.
From feelings, the situation must be removed with love. Feel the state and also mentally squeeze this picture out of ourselves with love. You can do this by inhaling the love of your saint, and as you exhale, this love pushes out your mental pain. It will be even more effective, because your power of love may not be enough.
So, mental pain needs to be removed at 3 levels: from the head by blurring the picture or turning it into white light, from the body by exhaling from emotions by squeezing out with love.
Then we thank the saint: i thank you holy man(name) for giving me the strength of the soul, the strength of love. Now I will look with the same eyes, with the same heart at this person (situation). I am not this pain, I am not this death, I am not this hurt(your situation) ... I am the eternal radiant soul, I am pure consciousness.
Perhaps, in order to completely get rid of mental pain, this practice will have to be done several times. Let me remind you that the practice is done for one mental pain only. Once you work through that pain, you can move on to another. After working through all the mental pains, you may notice that you begin to feel much better. Pleasant changes may begin in your life.
I wish you a pure inner peace! Sincerely, .
We all know well and often remember the comforting joke that if a head hurts, it means that it is. The same could be said about the soul. And, unfortunately, in relation to the soul, the opposite statement is also true: the soul, if there is one, at least from time to time necessarily hurts. For loved ones or from their own sorrows, long and quiet or strong and shrill. Can mental pain be identified with the recently fashionable diagnosis of "depression"? Yes and no. On the one hand, psychologists are really engaged in the restoration of subtle spiritual harmony, whose field of activity even bears the second name of psychology. On the other hand, long before the appearance of this area of science and medicine, people turned to clergy and simply wise people with mental pain. And all because the soul is such a special part of each of us, not so much the body as the personality. And even when it clearly hurts, you cannot touch, stroke and “operate” on it.
Therefore, it is necessary to stroke and heal the soul in other, more subtle and more complex ways. And very personal. After all, just as there are no two identical souls, so there cannot be equally effective "medicines" for them. And even each new pain requires a new careful and individual approach. "In this case, is there any sense in the existence of the corresponding science, since there can be no standard methods in principle ?!" - you might be surprised. We answer: maybe. Because for all our originality, we are all human, we walk on the same land, breathe the same air and worry about similar things. Therefore, psychologists are both necessary and important. But it is possible that in a given situation, a sincere confession or a sincere conversation with a close friend will bring much more benefit than a whole course of psychotherapeutic sessions. This is how to find your own personal way and how to get rid of mental pain without additional moral wounds, we will try to figure it out today. And, if you do not give definitive answers, then at least feel for the thread that you can pull to unravel the heavy ball that has clenched in your soul.
What hurts during heartache
Soul - does it even exist? Or is it just an imaginary, completely ephemeral substance, invented long before the advent of modern scientific possibilities to explain the processes that were incomprehensible to our distant ancestors? But how, then, something that does not exist can experience such obvious painful sensations and cause intense suffering! To answer this question, you have to look at pain (any - external and internal, physical and mental) not as an absolute evil, but as a kind of mechanism created by nature with a reasonable purpose. This goal is to send us a signal that something has gone wrong - in the body, in thoughts, or in life. This failure at first may be very small and imperceptible, but if it remains ignored, it gradually turns into vague anxiety, worry, then fear. Fear generates heavy thoughts, and they, in turn, agitate the soul, squeezing it and making it hurt.
At different times, people have looked (and found!) Different means of getting rid of mental pain. First, in the church, which saw the cause of the emotional pain in sin and prayed for his forgiveness. Later - at the reception of psychologists who materialistically deny the existence of the soul and use other tools. But the essence was and remains unchanged: an inexplicable feeling that eats a person from the inside and prevents him from enjoying life, visited everyone at least once. And, regardless of worldview, level of education, religious preferences, national and gender characteristics and field of activity, everyone was looking for their own way of deliverance in one way or another. Because otherwise, mental pain can completely paralyze consciousness and deprive the meaning of life. But if you treat it as a symptom that reports some other problems, then you can and should pull yourself together in time and ask for help. But to whom? With a bad tooth, we go to the dentist, with a broken leg - to the traumatologist. To whom to carry the sick soul? Unfortunately, there is no unequivocal answer, as well as a professional doctor of the soul. But you can listen to yourself and become such a doctor for yourself. And a psychologist, confessor and / or family member in this case will help you and support you along the way.
Effective treatment of mental pain
Contrary to stereotype, waiting is not always the best cure for the soul. Time really heals, but sometimes this treatment is too delayed and does not at all exclude the possibility of relapses. Mental pain is caused by a variety of reasons, and therefore the means of deliverance are also varied and multifaceted. But there is a certain "golden code", which can be the basis for anyone seeking to get rid of mental pain as soon as possible. To do this, you will have to fulfill several conditions. In our version, there are 12 of them - because this number is considered magical, or at least positive. Who knows, maybe it is the magic of numbers that will partially help alleviate mental pain. And if not, then nobody canceled the harmony of numbers, aesthetics and just the order of things. Follow it: 
- Drive away the negativity. Do not hold it in yourself and do not accumulate for hours, days, weeks ... Find a way to get rid of what is eating you from the inside, to throw it out. Speak out, cry out, even scream. You can do this alone, but better together with a very close understanding person. Do not be afraid to strain or offend him. A truly loved one will correctly understand your condition and will try to alleviate it, take some of your pain or help you release it. And even the very presence of a soul mate will definitely make your soul feel that it is not alone and can count on reliable support. If these arguments do not convince you, then listen to the statistics regularly published by publications on psychology. According to her, hushing up the situation, endless self-digging and digging into our own heavy thoughts only aggravates the condition that we have called mental pain. Simply put, this is a huge load on the nervous system, which can subsequently result in not only psychological but also physical ailments. Therefore, do not worsen your life even more, do not increase your pain, but develop it in the wind in all four directions.
- Look for the positive. A holy place is never empty, and the vacated inner space needs to be filled with something. But not just anything, but good, kind, light and constructive. Positive emotions have a truly powerful healing power, and professional psychologists, psychologists “from the people,” and representatives of religious cults agree with this. And all at the same time, especially those looking from such different angles, cannot be mistaken. In a mentally painful state, this can be difficult to believe, and even more difficult to do. But think about the fact that everything in the world is balanced. For everything bad, there is necessarily a good equivalent to it. Moreover, it is even stronger, because life goes on, which means that the good always turns out to be stronger and wins. And it is in our power to help him. With its energy, its internal resources. And for this it is enough to concentrate them on the positive moments - and the water wears away the stone. Do not ignore even the most insignificant, but positive facts of what is happening around: the sun is shining in the morning, and not rain, the child brought an excellent mark in the diary, not a bad one, the taxi driver did not bother with conversations on the way, but could turn out to be a terrible chatterbox. From these tiny but inevitable moments, life is summed up, day after day. These days pass, but the general emotional background remains. It is important for you, as for anyone else, that he was with a plus sign. But no one but you will be able to configure it in this way.
- Goodbye people who hurt you or indirectly cause your pain. When you forgive, it becomes easier, because you no longer carry the burden of resentment and do not waste your mental strength on it. But you just need to be able to forgive truly, without deceiving yourself. Find a convincing justification for the offended person's act, or simply admit his right to make this mistake. His act is his sin and his karma, and you acquire participation only as long as you yourself want it. Stop being a part of other people's shortcomings, forget them and leave them to their owners. Think about yourself, about your cultivation, and about not doing these things. After all, just be nobler and wiser, pretend that your forgiveness is a gift you give the abuser despite his bad behavior. This is not the best tactic of intrinsic motivation and it smells too much of pride, but if at first it will help you cope with the resentment and forgive the offender, then it’s better so than not at all. Look for your own path, reflect on what happened and, perhaps, resentment will even be replaced by gratitude if you understand that the act of another person has moved something important in your life and launched a chain reaction of changes. Which, as you know, always turn out to be for the better in the end.
- Apologize, especially if the cats scratch their souls and through your fault too. Conscience is an insidious quality. It seems that you can negotiate with her, but then it turns out that she lurked like a cold snake in her soul, wrapped her rings around her and whispers to you about what you don't want to think about at all. And this may well become the cause of mental pain, and quite strong - depending on the strength of your feelings of guilt. Therefore, do not be afraid to “lose the crown” - ask for forgiveness from the one who offended you. You look, and you feel better. Better yet, try to fix what happened, make amends. How - there is no universal recipe. In some cases, repentance itself and a request for forgiveness will be entirely sufficient. In others, you will have to influence the current situation and restore what still needs to be restored. You may even have to look for ways to please your victim with something unrelated to the problem and thereby rehabilitate yourself as a good person. But if you really suffer precisely from the fact that someone was deceived or offended, then such behavior should definitely save you from mental pain, so go for it.
- Forgive yourself- it is very important. Sometimes, even after receiving an apology from others, one's own repentance is committed and the previous relations between people are restored, inner peace still does not come, and the mental pain does not subside. As it was said in this case in an old anecdote: "spoons were found, but the sediment remained." And worst of all, if this residue remains on your own heart, because in this case, a reminder of a bad incident always stays with you, wherever you go, no matter what you do. And only you can get rid of it yourself. And in general, you are the most important and almost the only person who can heal you from mental pain. All the rest are just assistants in this operating room, ready at the right time to apply a bandage of understanding or a clamp of patience. But you are the chief surgeon. And in your hands is the scalpel with which you must mercilessly cut off your pain so that its metastases do not spread to the depths of your soul. Or not mercilessly. Have pity on yourself. Have pity and forgiveness. Nobody is perfect, and you are no exception. You have your right to make a mistake and the strength to admit it. This is a complete cycle of wrongdoing, go through it and move on without getting stuck.
- Sublimate. That is, spend your mental strength not on experiencing your pain, but on more pleasant and useful activities. The most affordable and successful option is creativity, absolutely any. From cross stitching to ballroom dancing. The main thing is that during creative activities you forget about your mental pain, and after them you feel filled with something new and light instead of it. Another option for sublimation is sports, it makes the body work, not the brain, and thus also distracts from heavy thoughts. In addition, in the process of physical exercise, the hormonal background is normalized, which has a positive effect on the emotional state. Another option is to get a pet and take care of it, loving it with all your heart, making custody of it an important part of your everyday life. Or just fall in love. The powerful release of endorphins into the blood is the best pain reliever for the soul. Although with severe mental pain, new relationships may not work out. In this case, love those people who already make up your family and close circle of your friends. Find joy in serving their interests, enjoy the time spent in their company. Travel, in company or alone, depending on your temperament and capabilities. You will see new places, strangers, whose life may be worse than yours and will make you forget about your pain as something not as significant as it seemed. All of this will distract you, take time, and help you fill in and get through your worst period. Or sign up for a volunteer club, help disadvantaged people and animals. Force yourself to be useful - perhaps this will be an excuse to atone for your sins and, finally, get rid of your mental pain?
- Laugh. Or at least smile. And once again stretch your lips into a smile. A smile and laughter are generally the best defense against ill-wishers. And now it turns out that you yourself are becoming an ill-wisher in relation to yourself. Do not follow the lead of this state of affairs, do not let heartache ruin your mood, state, life. Even if the smile does not brighten everyone, the days of naive childhood are long gone, but think: perhaps your second soft smile will warm someone and help get rid of the mental pain, if not you, then him. All good things done unselfishly always come back. The ancient sages said: "Do good and throw it into the water." You do not know where the current will carry it, but sooner or later it will return to you by itself or its reflection in the water surface. The earth is round. Well, if without esotericism, then positive emotions, expressed by a smile and laughter, tone all body systems, help it fight stress and normalize the state of the nervous system and the speed of reactions. Therefore, laughter therapy is a very real method of dealing with depressive conditions. If you don't have the strength and desire to smile for no reason, buy a collection of jokes or watch KVN. And the Internet is generally an inexhaustible source of hilarious jokes and fresh jokes, which will not only smile, but also distract from heavy thoughts for a long time, if you choose the right resources.
- Remember the body. By forcing yourself to smile, you are not only emotionally, but also physiologically influencing your body. Psychosomatics is not a myth, but a completely real relationship between the state of the nervous system and all other organ systems in your body. When you are in an emotionally depressed state for a long time, then eventually it begins to manifest itself not only in your mood and facial expression, but also in other, more serious symptoms. And the widespread chronic fatigue syndrome is just one, and not the most severe, of them. Internal conflict can result in asthma, gastritis, migraines and even cancer. You can compare these processes with the fact that a person "eats himself" with a sense of guilt, resentment and torment. Thus, the pain of an ephemeral soul is embodied in a very real pain of tangible organs. Such self-punishment can be unconscious and complicate life gradually, or conscious, when a person deliberately deprives himself of benefits in an effort to incur punishment for his misdeeds. In particular, anorexia is one of the manifestations of dislike for oneself, for one's soul and body. All that can be said about this is - do not punish the body for the mistakes of the soul. Separate them, but keep them in harmony, and take care of the first and the second equally.
- Trace the connection between your heartache and the life events that preceded it. The fact is that psychosomatic manifestations sometimes "work" in the opposite direction, there is no only possible direction here. And it is possible that your mental pain has not only moral, but also physical reasons. A prerequisite for a depressed, depressed state can be chronic diseases and developing processes in the depths of the body. You don't even know about them yet, but they already influence his condition. Therefore, as strange as this advice may seem, to treat mental pain, you need to cure bodily ailments. If the heart trouble does not go away for a long time and does not develop, going through its stages, then it makes sense to consult a doctor for diagnostics, get tested and undergo basic tests of blood, urine, etc. Do not forget to support your mental strength with your physical strength: watch your diet, eat healthy food and adhere to a diet. Drink natural juices, green tea, and plenty of clean water. Do not litter yourself with junk food - and then harmful thoughts will also visit you much less often. Because body hygiene is inextricably linked with the hygiene of the soul, this fact must be accepted and taken into account.
- Rejoice- more precisely, please yourself. Imagine that you are at home - a small child who is bad and lonely, and he really needs love, care and attention. Love yourself and present yourself with pleasant, good things. Not necessarily material, but they too. Allow yourself small, but regular pleasures, and if suddenly a doubt creeps in that you are pampering yourself too much, treat them as a medicine necessary for the healing of the soul. Such a medicine can be a walk at lunchtime on a sunny day, and a delicious cake, despite the diet, allowed yourself with a morning cup of cappuccino. The main thing is that these compliments to oneself do not then cause regret and remorse, because their task is to please and create a positive life background for getting rid of mental pain, and not for aggravating it. Refresh your wardrobe, buy a long-desired accessory or shoes, get a haircut, manicure, change your image. Take care of yourself as a loved one who desperately needs support and positive emotions.
- Get rid of the anchors especially if the pain is caused by the loss of someone or something important to you. It can be quite difficult, but it is still necessary to find the strength in yourself and say goodbye to the past, which cannot be returned. Do not look for the guilty, do not try to change what happened - just take it for granted and live on, but without it. Throw away, donate, or properly hide what may become a reminder of the past. Stop deliberately recalling past memories and recalling past situations. If your heartache is caused by the memory of a person who left your life of their own accord, then do not try to seek a connection with him, real or imagined. Neither calls nor meetings can bring back the past, but they hurt and intensify your pain. Even if it seems that even a fleeting contact will ease the experience, this is an illusion. In fact, you will simply rip off the fragile crust from the wound that has just begun to heal. Let pride become your support and advisor: you do not need to reach out to a person who does not need you. Those people who should be in your life will never leave you or offend you, and everyone else should leave so as not to take someone else's place in your personal world. Now it is free and soon it will definitely be occupied by someone truly worthy.
- Accept the pain- this is the very last, most important and, possibly, the most difficult advice. But this is the way to healing the soul: right through the pain itself. Because it is integral to growth. Professional athletes say: "no pain - no gain", that is, there is no development without pain. You need to constantly remind yourself that no pain goes unnoticed and always has a goal, even if this goal is not obvious to you now. But time will pass and, perhaps, it will turn out that it was this life test that opened before you understanding and doors to something bigger and better. Catharsis is also a kind of pain, but it is both revelation and cleansing. And pain is of two types: pain for the sake of pain and pain for the sake of creation. The second type appears when you do not resist fate and heartache, but allow it to develop you and move you forward. This is your struggle with yourself, the struggle for a life better than now. Perhaps, as a reminder of her, a scar will remain on your soul. So make it a reminder of your ability to survive and a symbol of your strength.
Last updated article 19.07.2018
Mental pain is the discomfort that a person feels inside himself, but it is not interconnected with any organ. Therefore, there is no medicine to eliminate such a disorder.
The severity of unpleasant sensations in all people is different, as well as reactions to a mental wound. Some, trite, reduce torment with the help of alcoholic beverages, while others run away from reality on the Internet.
A specialist psychotherapist will tell you how to cope with mental pain with minimal consequences for psychological and physical health. However, not everyone will go to the doctor for help, trying to solve the problem on their own. Thus, only aggravating the situation.
Development mechanism
Mental pain is a person's emotional reaction to a negative change in his usual way of life. Most often, it is preceded by a significant loss - the death of a loved one, betrayal or loss of social status.
A rapidly arising negative emotion, according to its assessment, is regarded by a person as a significant experience for him - a deep emotional feeling. It is of great importance for the full formation of the personality, being a significant link in psychological activity.
Most experts attribute mental suffering to subjective feelings. However, modern studies have made it possible to refute this statement - in the images obtained with the help of magnetic resonance imaging, foci of activation in the limbic system of the brain are clearly visible, as a response to the inflicted moral trauma.
In addition, severe mental pain can be perceived by a person as psychogenic - felt by him at the physical level. For example, pain impulses in the region of the heart, head, abdomen. It is not possible to establish the relationship with somatic pathologies, as well as to confirm them with instrumental examinations. Therefore, no medicines are able to cope with mental anguish. Only a highly qualified psychotherapist can help.
Causes
Mental anguish can appear for other reasons:
- a constant feeling of fear - living in a family with an accentuated personality prone to physical violence;
- long-term suppressed emotions of anger - a highly paid job under the guidance of a personally hostile leadership, when the “tyrant boss” gives directly contradictory instructions, demanding to perform such a volume of duties that is beyond the power of one person, as a result, and is formed in conjunction with mental suffering;
- deficiency in the body of certain chemicals - neurotransmitters, which can be expressed by hyperexcitation of brain structures, depletion of their ability to compensate;
- a failure in the activity of endocrine organs, provoking the constant production of hormones of anxiety and stress - hyperthyroidism, pheochromocytoma;
- self-obsession of a person on his own troubles, - looking at photographs of a deceased close relative, returning to memories of happy moments in the past;
- a subconscious need for gaining benefits - mental pain serves only to disguise a person's selfish motives, a desire to receive material benefits from others or increased attention in response to the demonstrated torment of the soul.
Putting everything in its place - to establish the true reasons for the deteriorating health and suggest how to get rid of mental pain, only a competent psychotherapist can do.
Pain in the soul can also arise from parting with a loved one. : psychiatrist's recommendations.
Symptoms
Many people describe their negative emotions and worries this way: for them, mental pain is an unpleasant, intense feeling of constant melancholy and excruciating inner suffering.
At the peak of psychological discomfort, physical disorders may even appear - asthenia with persistent dizziness, migraines, palpitations and nausea, or sleep disturbance, lack of appetite.
In some people, the mental pain of love, or rather its loss, may even exceed in severity and intensity the sensations of a burn, injury, or a broken leg. The situation is aggravated by the fact that it is necessary to hide your feelings from others, to maintain a "social face".
Latent internal processes can result in the following somatic signs and physiological symptoms:
- a feeling of pressure behind the breastbone;
- a fossil somewhere in the chest, head;
- unpleasant constant burning sensation, coldness in the chest;
- stitching, pressing impulses in the heart;
- discomfort, cramps in the intestines - the upper or lower abdomen, at a certain point;
- the constant presence of nausea - rolls in waves or is felt every minute;
- disorders in the cardiovascular system - a slowdown in the pulse - bradycardia, or its increase - tachycardia, fluctuations in blood pressure parameters.
However, the physical manifestations of mental anguish, especially if they are not so clearly demonstrated, may be ignored by others, while emotional manifestations are more clearly tracked. Depression, depression of mood, apathy, anxiety, lack of interest in all current events, "stiffness", "numbness".
Sometimes sensations are so exotic that they can already be perceived as signs of psychopathies that have arisen - the heart was ripped out of the chest, everything inside burst and drenched in blood.
How to deal with pain in the soul on your own
Since people are socially dependent beings, most often the pain in the soul arises from the breakdown of relations with a loved one. Emotional disorder can be so intense that it affects the activity of internal organs - the heart, nervous system, gastrointestinal tract.
Mental experiences go through several stages, each of which will have its own emotions. The emotional pain after parting with a loved one begins with the stage of denial - an unwillingness to understand that the relationship is over. This is expressed in the constant return to thoughts about the beloved and the desire to see him.
Since no meetings take place, emotions move on to the next stage - resentment and hatred. The abandoned half strive to throw out the pain with a failure, taking revenge in all available ways. Such actions bring relief, but only for a short time. And only then comes the stage of accepting the gap, when emotional experiences lose their intensity, decrease.
To speed up the process of psychological recovery after breaking up with a loved one, experts have developed several recommendations on how to relieve mental pain at home:
- switch to other activities - do charity work, join a hobby group;
visit art exhibitions, film premieres with friends more often; - accept the breakup as a fact and end the relationship, getting rid of all things that may remind of past events;
- start visiting a fitness center, swimming pool, gym - physical activity helps not only to relieve nervous tension, but also gives a feeling of joy, self-satisfaction;
- restore old relationships with old friends and visit them - communication with once acquaintances, but people who have managed to forget, learning new events in their lives, all this helps to distract and experience mental discomfort.
There is no single scheme of how to survive mental pain - each person has to experience various methods and techniques of dealing with the torment of the soul, choosing the best option for himself.
If a person has mental suffering, it is necessary to carefully analyze the situation and his own feelings, to find out what could have caused them. So, family grief - the loss of a loved one, divorce, a serious illness, require a certain time interval to adapt to new circumstances. You should not rush or rush yourself.
Lacking special skills, many people, after listening to the advice of strangers, try to drive out of themselves mental discomfort, constantly recalling unpleasant events, "sprinkling salt" on the wounds of the soul.
Daily dramatization only aggravates the frustration, not relieves the anguish. Subsequently, it takes much more time and effort to overcome mental anguish - it is better to just speak out once and try to accept the event in your life as it is.
Someone is simply exaggerating their own suffering - fighting with "windmills". Whereas after reassessing what is happening, you can understand that the troubles are quite solvable. They are only part of the complex mechanism of the universe, and against the background of the movement of planets in space, they are not at all significant for humanity. By minimizing your own troubles, it is much easier to deal with them.
It is imperative to believe in your own strength, in the possibility that you will be able to “make friends” with the problem and overcome it. Having spent time on a thorough study of the situation - together with his best friend, a psychotherapist, having understood what exactly can be done, a person is thereby already taking steps for his mental recovery.
Another direction in the fight against mental discord is to rethink your lifestyle. Active physical work helps to break out of the bottomless abyss of melancholy and depression - to carry out a long-planned renovation in an apartment, start attending yoga classes, a swimming pool. Attention should also be paid to the diet - to enrich it with vegetables and fruits, useful microelements and vitamins. Sleep is an equally important component of health. It takes about 8-9 hours for the brain to be able to calm down and process everyday events.
Helping the soul to overcome discord is within the power of every person. It is only necessary to set a similar goal for yourself, as well as to listen to the opinion of experts in this field.
Mental pain, suffering - every person experienced this torment. Resentment from betrayal, betrayal, injustice, grief, melancholy - all these feelings are associated with pain that cannot be relieved with the help of drugs.
Unfortunately, many people find themselves trapped in addictions in an effort to escape the pain that torments them. This applies to alcohol, drugs, gambling addiction.
Running away from problems is the lot of the weak. It sounds corny, but it is. Most people who are inclined not to take responsibility for their lives, looking for the cause of failure and mental discomfort from the outside, cannot survive the slightest pain and do everything not to feel it, which only exacerbates the situation.
On the other hand, mental pain pushes creative people to create masterpieces, for example, the most beautiful poems were written in a state of mental anguish, looking for a way out.
What to do when the soul hurts?
Let's look at several possible situations in which torment arises, and try to understand how you can heal mental wounds.
Hidden benefit
Psychological work with a problem begins with establishing its cause. If you are dealing with people who constantly “hit”, you may not need psychotherapy. It will be enough to change your environment. But if you deliberately end up next to such people over and over again, it makes sense to think about why you need it. What pushes you to such "self-torture"? Is there some hidden benefit for you?
It is very often the cause of severe mental pain. In this case, the treatment will be useless as long as there is a need to achieve hidden goals. In order to identify them and revise them.
Grief
Another common cause of mental pain is a prolonged experience, for example, from a person or from the loss of a close relative.
In these cases, the help of a psychologist is often needed, but the person himself can take steps to get rid of the problem.
First, you don’t need to feed your memories by looking at pictures of people who have departed or listening to sad music. Secondly, try to shift your attention to new activities, do what you like best, and most importantly, do not be alone.
When experiencing grief, there is a period when you need to endure the acute pain, let it go. A psychotherapist can help with this. If you are unable to forget the deceased person, try to mentally talk to him and say goodbye. Left alone, light a candle, think about who has left, release him internally, deciding to continue living. It often takes real courage to make this choice.
Bodily stress
Any phenomena of our consciousness, one way or another, manifest themselves at the bodily level. Acute mental pain results in areas of tension, or muscle tightness, in the body. For example, a hunched over, tense back, "hardened" shoulders, clenched jaws. Such manifestations are the result of restraint. Movement frees the body, returns life to it, and, as a result, the mental pain ceases to be unbearable, it “dissolves” and gradually goes away. Try to move more, walk, play sports, even if at first it will be difficult for you to force yourself to devote time to this. This will help you deal with the pain.
Working with restraint
We often hear: "Do not keep your grief in yourself, speak out, it will become easier for you." This is indeed the case. At the initial stage, a person needs to release negative emotions and share experiences with loved ones. If you have no one to talk to, you can do a simple job: take a piece of paper and write on it what worries you, torments you, from which your soul hurts. If you write sincerely and don't hold back, you will quickly feel relieved. This work is useful in that it helps to better understand oneself, and external experiences no longer seem so scary and insurmountable. By the way, after the completion of the work, it is recommended to destroy the leaflet. For example, it can be burned. This symbolic action will help you let go of negative emotions.
Defeat
Mental pain can also be caused by the experience of defeat in a business that is very important to a person. In this case, the memories come back again and again, a feeling of shame arises, thoughts of how to act are tormented. Such a state of mind will be cured if a person finds the reason for his defeat and builds a different course of action. It is necessary to stop digging and understand what led to failure, and what qualities in oneself need to be changed in order to avoid this in the future.
In general, the psychology of experiencing is built on looking for support in your mind, and only then working with feelings. is the master of himself and his life, which allows him to experience negative emotions without being captured by them. In addition, having learned to think and correctly build our life, we begin to work for the future, eliminating the appearance of mental pain and developing resilience in the face of a variety of life circumstances.
Heartache allows for new experiences and maturity. The main thing is not to be afraid to live in the present in its entirety, rejoicing, grieving, suffering, learning lessons and achieving new victories. After all, we all came to this world to experience the fullness of being, and not to hide in a cocoon of experiences. Think about it, you can live and continuously move forward, or you can "relive", that is, stay in place while life passes by. The choice is yours.
A person experiences mental pain for various reasons. Some lose loved ones, others part with a loved one. It is not always possible to suppress sadness and start from scratch. Healing mental wounds takes time, effort and constant work on yourself. Depression often leads to prolonged depression, so it is important to find a balance in time so as not to aggravate the situation.
Unleash your feelings
Don't ignore the fact that sadness is taking you deeper and deeper. The heart hurts, but the soul is crying, this is normal. Turn on a hot shower and cry, bang the mattress, scream, just don't keep it all to yourself. Try to find the balance that makes you feel as comfortable as possible.
You shouldn't smile pretendingly, pretending that everything is fine. Also, you do not need to constantly think about what happened, provoking a nervous breakdown. Home meditation or yoga classes can help you find harmony. These directions are created for the healing of the soul and solitude with your own "I".
In cases where the above methods are not suitable, create a "sanctuary" in your apartment. Set up a cozy corner, hang pastel curtains, buy soft pillows. Obviously, at first you will not want to go out for a long time, but you should not delay it. When tears start rolling again, return to your cozy corner, brew a mug of green tea with honey and close your eyes.
Control actions and mind
There are often cases when a person experiences mental pain and remains in it for a long time. Try to look for a way out so as not to drown in despair. It's one thing if you decide to wait a week to cope with torment, it is another thing when you fell into prolonged depression.
During the suffering of the heart, each of us goes through certain stages on the path to healing (grief, anger, indifference, anxiety, fear and humility). Analyze your own actions, think about what helps you move forward.
Perhaps the transition from sadness to discontent was carried out through physical activity or constant employment at work. When motivation is found, use it to move on to the rest of the stages until you accept what happened.
There are no people who are able to do without social interaction. Family and friends will always support you, fill the void with advice or words of regret. Invite a friend over to visit, cook a delicious dinner or order pizza at home, play an interesting film on a neutral theme. Speak out, ask how she would act in your place, listen to good advice.
Get in the habit of having these gatherings every night over a cup of tea or delicious ice cream. You should not drink alcohol even in small quantities. Under the influence of alcohol, strong emotions will rush over, which you will definitely not be able to cope with.
If communication with people is not suitable, purchase a diary. Conduct a frank dialogue in it, transfer to paper all the pain and the accumulated torment. When the time comes, and you can let go of what happened, you will need to burn the sheets covered with writing and move on to a new stage.
Would you like to keep a diary? It's okay, get a pet. You shouldn't buy a dog if you are not ready for such a serious step. Choose a parrot (preferably a speaker), cat, or fish. The new inhabitant will give strength, since he needs attention, affection and communication. Focus on your pet, take care of him, put all your love and strength.
Take away material memories
If you have lost a loved one, you should not throw away his things, it will be mean. Collect them in a box, carefully place them in the far corner of the cabinet. Restore everything to its place when the pain subsides. If you broke up with a loved one who broke your heart by his own actions, get rid of the "evidence" forever. Throw in personal belongings, shaving accessories, and photo frames. Delete pictures from PC and phone, erase the number.
If not all of the items make you remember what happened, do the sorting. Take the thing in hand and pay attention to the first associations. Does the wall collage make you cry? Take it off and dispose of it. Is the smell of perfume crazy? Get out of sight. Does the bed linen evoke negative feelings? Leave. Repeat with every object that misleads you.
Take a break from what is happening
Take a book you have long dreamed of reading. Start watching a new show or find a hobby. Sign up for a dance or try out stretching, Pilates, or yoga. Call your friends, invite them to a bowling alley, a water park or a picnic. Try to spend as little time alone as possible, communicate with interesting people.
If professional employment involves an uninterrupted work process, go into business with your head. Improve your qualifications or master a new specialty. Visit distant relatives and go out into the countryside every weekend.
It is good if there are opportunities to go abroad. It is not necessary to buy expensive tours for 2 weeks, a three-day trip to the sea or to countries with a large concentration of attractions will be enough.
When a person begins to fantasize or imagine good moments, he is automatically healed. There is nothing wrong with dreams, visualize everything down to the smallest detail. Imagine swimming in the sea or driving a car you just bought.
Carve out 15-20 minutes a day for a flight of fantasy. During a short-term stay in the virtual world, the border with reality is erased, the existing problems become less significant.
Play your favorite music, get into a comfortable position and close your eyes. Experts have proven more than once that music therapy has a beneficial effect on the nervous system and improves mood. The secreted endorphins fight stress and smooth out difficult perceptions of reality. After 5 sessions, the attitude to what is happening changes, strength for new achievements appears.
Avoid Sad Memories
You have already got rid of things that are able to remind you of what happened. At this stage, it is necessary to suppress negative memories that lead you to your original state. New stress can be triggered by an ordinary song played that day, or by walking in familiar places.
It is not forbidden to think about what happened, but thoughts should be directed in a positive direction. If you notice that sadness is coming soon, switch to something neutral or cheerful. Go for a walk where you have not been before, go to a river or lake.
Time will pass, you will learn to live with it, you will be able to easily switch from a once painful topic to absolutely opposite things. Now it seems to you that it will not be better, but it is not. Soon the events will remain in the past, and you will find the strength to move on.
It’s impossible to get through heartache without changing yourself. Change the decor in the apartment, make cosmetic repairs, rearrange the furniture. If you do not want to be in this dwelling, move to a new house or another city.Pay attention to appearance
Greet the hairstyle, facial skin, figure. Go shopping and buy beautiful things that fit perfectly. Find an extreme hobby, go swimming or learn snowboarding techniques.
Avoid shaving, tattooing, or wearing bright colors. Leave these changes for later. Meet new people, spend more time with them. Such a move will not allow every half hour to discuss the sad events that have taken place.
Develop financially and enrich yourself spiritually
Master literature in sociology, history, psychology, or business. Find a profitable job, set a goal and move forward to achieve it. In order not to relax, make a bet with your friends.
Do not keep emotions in your head, in such cases, the risk of depression is likely. Invite acquaintances to visit, speak out, spend time having sincere conversations. Watch your thoughts and actions, do not force memories. Step back, find an interesting business, go to visit relatives or friends.
Video: how to overcome mental pain